Did you ever have one of those weeks where you felt like even though you did so much...you didn't get anything done? It's been a long tumultuous two weeks. I worked 6 days in a row, went on dates 3 days in a row...and yesterday worked again.
It's been incredibly hard going out with more than one person at a time. (In the grander sense, not literally) Essentially, I'm doing what I hated about the guys who I saw my friends going out with in college. I feel like it's been good for me, but at the same time I can't help feeling like I'm selling short the relationships I'm developing with these women. I've done my best to be honest with all parties involved...but still...it's frustrating. I've never before been presented with the opportunity, let alone the desire, to get to know more than one person at a time in a "dating" kind of setting.
In the back of my head I keep hoping that they'll lose interest in me and I won't have to make the decision of who I ultimately want to date regularly...and then...what if none of them work out? I've already made mistakes in the process...but that's to be expected when you've "come out of retirement" after several years... I really don't know what to do at this point...it's a mess. But, as they say...don't hate the player, hate the game. And I really, really hate the game...
Jane, get me off this crazy thing...called love.
In contrast...it's been really good for my self esteem/confidence. On more than one occasion someone has told me I'm not what they would consider shy and or fat. Slowly I'm buying into those statements...it's just been a long time since I've felt that way. As wise woman told me, even after the weight is gone, you still see yourself as you appeared before...despite what the scale, your clothes...and your friends tell you.
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