Today was an interesting day for me, I did a lot of thinking (dangerous and surprising...I know) and I came to the conclusion that I'm tired of being crazy. As much as I relish being neurotic (despite my woes) it's getting old...kind of like me. It's tiring, and I don't know why I cling so tightly to it...I think it's because it's easier to be a coward and complain about it than be brave and worry about it later.
(I'm a moron....)
In other news, Farscape is returning (kind of) as a series of webisodes. Apparently Ben Browder and Claudia Black are "available"...which is freaking awesome. Farscape was one of the finest shows on television, but the long story arcs required consistent viewing from week to week to figure out what the heck was going on...and thus prevented a lot of new viewers from grabbing on to it. This lead to the ultimate in fan angering endings... a season finale with "to be continued..." as the lead out. Only to be left hanging for several years until the release of "The Peacekeeper Wars" which wrapped up lots of loose ends...and of course made a lot of fans (including myself) at least somewhat satisfied. But, we still miss our weekly dose of John and Aeryn gallivanting around Peacekeeper territory...so any new stories are a welcome addition...regardless of how they're delivered.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Back to reality...
It's been a couple of weeks since I wrote last, obviously...
I've been moody lately, some of that has to do with working 7 days in a row with little time for anything other than a quick run before going to bed. I have a crush on a girl I think would like me...but we'd be a terrible fit. She's smart, beautiful, charming...and single. She's interested in what I do for a living...but I have this feeling that we'd have so many things not in common that it could work, but more than likely tear us apart. I saw pictures of her last boyfriend, Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome...and the guys she usually hangs out with are much the same.
Seeing those guys and playing the usual "let's compare myself to people I know relatively nothing about" game makes me drive myself that much harder when I run...and it frustrates me. Even when I was "skinny" I was a big guy, it's the Norwegian in me. And like I've mentioned in previous blogs over at good 'ol MySpace...my weight has been an issue for me for the better part of a decade now. And lately I've seen pictures of me and wonder where my jawline went (again...) It's so easy for me to lose weight, but I keep reaching a point where I just stop working at it. I don't know why.
I've never been (and probably will never be) one of those hip, trendy guys. I'm like the Antichrist of trendy...or at least feel like it some days. I've often wanted to be one of the trendy guys, but realize how shallow those people usually are when I spend time with them...and I can do without that. But despite that, I still feel like I'm always striving to fit in...even at 27. I should be my own person by now, and some days I feel like I am...but other days I feel like I'm 17 again and just trying to blend in with the crowd.
I think way too much...
I've been moody lately, some of that has to do with working 7 days in a row with little time for anything other than a quick run before going to bed. I have a crush on a girl I think would like me...but we'd be a terrible fit. She's smart, beautiful, charming...and single. She's interested in what I do for a living...but I have this feeling that we'd have so many things not in common that it could work, but more than likely tear us apart. I saw pictures of her last boyfriend, Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome...and the guys she usually hangs out with are much the same.
Seeing those guys and playing the usual "let's compare myself to people I know relatively nothing about" game makes me drive myself that much harder when I run...and it frustrates me. Even when I was "skinny" I was a big guy, it's the Norwegian in me. And like I've mentioned in previous blogs over at good 'ol MySpace...my weight has been an issue for me for the better part of a decade now. And lately I've seen pictures of me and wonder where my jawline went (again...) It's so easy for me to lose weight, but I keep reaching a point where I just stop working at it. I don't know why.
I've never been (and probably will never be) one of those hip, trendy guys. I'm like the Antichrist of trendy...or at least feel like it some days. I've often wanted to be one of the trendy guys, but realize how shallow those people usually are when I spend time with them...and I can do without that. But despite that, I still feel like I'm always striving to fit in...even at 27. I should be my own person by now, and some days I feel like I am...but other days I feel like I'm 17 again and just trying to blend in with the crowd.
I think way too much...
Sunday, July 1, 2007
It's Hot...
It's been a few days since I wrote last...I'm on the last of another 6 days in a row at work...and of course, I'm typing this while I'm at work.
My birthday is coming up on the 4th. I hate this time of year...it's about as much fun as Valentine's day and New Years for me. In the last few years, they've only been hallmarks of another year's passing. Another year single, another year without deciding to go out and do it. (whatever "it" is) It's the one time of the year I want nothing more than to be left alone. I get tired of wanting what is seemingly out of reach without getting off of my butt and going after it.
I'll be 27 this year. Creeping closer to 30 with each day. And while I know that 27 is by no means old in any stretch of the imagination...it feels old to me. I saw pictures of me from spring break of my Freshman year of college, and it made me wonder what happened to the last 7 years? Where did the time go? What happened to that kid who was so ready to take on the world? Is he still here? Is he still ready to take on the world after so much has happened? Or has he taken a resigned outlook on life in general... I really hope not...
Obviously I get a little down around my birthday...it's the introspective nerd in me. I spend so much time throughout the year over-analyzing situations (past and future) that I rarely just act. I don't do anything spontaneous anymore. It feels like my entire life these days is planned out in the days and weeks beforehand...and the fat guy I'm supposed to have battled with is looming in the shadows...anyway...back to work. I hope everyone out there had a great weekend...at least someone did.
My birthday is coming up on the 4th. I hate this time of year...it's about as much fun as Valentine's day and New Years for me. In the last few years, they've only been hallmarks of another year's passing. Another year single, another year without deciding to go out and do it. (whatever "it" is) It's the one time of the year I want nothing more than to be left alone. I get tired of wanting what is seemingly out of reach without getting off of my butt and going after it.
I'll be 27 this year. Creeping closer to 30 with each day. And while I know that 27 is by no means old in any stretch of the imagination...it feels old to me. I saw pictures of me from spring break of my Freshman year of college, and it made me wonder what happened to the last 7 years? Where did the time go? What happened to that kid who was so ready to take on the world? Is he still here? Is he still ready to take on the world after so much has happened? Or has he taken a resigned outlook on life in general... I really hope not...
Obviously I get a little down around my birthday...it's the introspective nerd in me. I spend so much time throughout the year over-analyzing situations (past and future) that I rarely just act. I don't do anything spontaneous anymore. It feels like my entire life these days is planned out in the days and weeks beforehand...and the fat guy I'm supposed to have battled with is looming in the shadows...anyway...back to work. I hope everyone out there had a great weekend...at least someone did.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)