Back to reality...

It's been a couple of weeks since I wrote last, obviously...

I've been moody lately, some of that has to do with working 7 days in a row with little time for anything other than a quick run before going to bed. I have a crush on a girl I think would like me...but we'd be a terrible fit. She's smart, beautiful, charming...and single. She's interested in what I do for a living...but I have this feeling that we'd have so many things not in common that it could work, but more than likely tear us apart. I saw pictures of her last boyfriend, Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome...and the guys she usually hangs out with are much the same.

Seeing those guys and playing the usual "let's compare myself to people I know relatively nothing about" game makes me drive myself that much harder when I run...and it frustrates me. Even when I was "skinny" I was a big guy, it's the Norwegian in me. And like I've mentioned in previous blogs over at good 'ol MySpace...my weight has been an issue for me for the better part of a decade now. And lately I've seen pictures of me and wonder where my jawline went (again...) It's so easy for me to lose weight, but I keep reaching a point where I just stop working at it. I don't know why.

I've never been (and probably will never be) one of those hip, trendy guys. I'm like the Antichrist of trendy...or at least feel like it some days. I've often wanted to be one of the trendy guys, but realize how shallow those people usually are when I spend time with them...and I can do without that. But despite that, I still feel like I'm always striving to fit in...even at 27. I should be my own person by now, and some days I feel like I am...but other days I feel like I'm 17 again and just trying to blend in with the crowd.

I think way too much...