Meh

I'm tired. Tired of trying. Brett says I think (and read) too much about dating/relationships...and he's right. The vast majority of my time these days is consumed by it. I've met some wonderful women through eHarmony...but I've also put way too much time and effort into relationships I'm not entirely sure I want to pursue. According to the books (I know...I know) this is normal to question and doubt relationships. It's the "second stage" of a dating relationship. But, I've never been presented with the conundrum I'm in now. All of this is so new to me, I'm not sure that I'm fully able to comprehend all the permutations of combinations that go into deciding who to date. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. But, at the same time...am I putting others before me so far as to deny my own feelings? What do I really feel about everyone? Am I so caught up in the process that I can't look objectively at the whole thing and realize that my fatigue may be a sign?

It's scary to think I'm actually looking forward to going back to work this week so that I can get a break from going out with people. I've had fun, but I really don't know if I can keep this up. I'm ready to be 6 months from now with just one girl...and I don't know if I've even met her yet. No offense to the ladies I've dated so far...I don't really know you well enough to make a choice just yet. One insightful woman I had the chance to have dinner with this week pointed out that I prayed that I would have the chance to date responsibly earlier this year...and as always God didn't disappoint. But really, couldn't He have...spread them out a little? I know He works in really strange ways...but this is bordering on insanity. Now, I know that He doesn't send anything our way that we're not capable of handling, but sometimes I wish I could see my potential the way He does...

Anyway...it's 2am...and time for bed.

Oh, that Arm & Hammer baking soda toothpaste...highly recommended. I got some tonight and it lived up to expectations. My mouth feels quite clean.